I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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