im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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