and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
