this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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