Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
