I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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