My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
