Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
