it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You can't just leave with hair like that
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
