people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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