I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
