Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
its not stalking. its research.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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