Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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