My friends, they love my intelligence
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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