It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
