i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
