I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
