Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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