Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
A bitchslap is in order.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
