where am i from again
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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