did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
