And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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