oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
