She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
