do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Randomize
