The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
