put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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