Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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