it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
