Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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