can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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