I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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