I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
