You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
