this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
