I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
