Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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