whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
