Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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