Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
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