if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
