Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
