i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
