fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
