Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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