kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
