come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
