i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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