I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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