I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Do vagina's smell?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
