worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
