just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
