Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
