Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
