Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
