I just saw a hot homeless man
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
