I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Randomize
