I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Randomize
