Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
