if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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