i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
