Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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