It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
